When Bitterness Arises: How to Reclaim Yourself, Awaken Inner Shiva, and Heal the Wounds of Chasing Love with Pet Medicine

We all carry old patterns.
Some are easy to spot—others lie deeper, tucked in the unspoken stories of our nervous system and inner child... the ones that only tend to surface during a heartbreak, a full moon, or those moments when life cracks us open. 🌕

Recently, I sat with a deep wave of bitterness.

I heard my own heart whisper: “I feel hatred toward men.”
Not because they are bad—in fact, some of my dearest friends and most trusted companions are men—but because I was tired.
Tired of the game I had been playing.

A game where I chased approval.
Where I gave more than I received.
Where I confused sex with intimacy and acceptance.
Where I abandoned my own needs and desires, hoping someone would finally choose me.

This wasn’t about them. It was about an old wound I was still carrying—a little girl who longed to be liked, to be loved, to belong.

When this realization hit, I didn’t shame myself.
I knew it was a sacred threshold—an invitation to choose a new path.

👉 Being mocked by boys as a girl—and wanting them to like me.
👉 Chasing male acceptance through sex—abandoning my needs and desires.
👉 Giving away my body hoping to be chosen.
👉 Feeling trapped in a pattern of self-betrayal.

When these feelings arise, it can feel like a tidal wave. But this is also a sacred opportunity: a portal to healing and radical self-reclamation.

The Tarot Speaks: A Map of Where You Are

That day, I pulled three tarot cards hoping for some deeper wisdom in how to break this pattern for good and here’s what came up:

Four of Cups → I am weary of the same old emotional patterns, longing for something new but not yet seeing it.

Eight of Swords → I feel trapped by my own mind and past stories, unable to see the freedom that is available.

Temperance → I am being called to integration and balance. This is not a time for extremes, but for anchoring into wholeness.

Bashar’s Wisdom: You Are the Frequency of What You Receive

Then of course I went to ChatGPT to get the wisdom of Bashar who reminds me that “Circumstances don’t matter. Only your state of being matters.”

In my bitterness, I realized I was vibrating in wounded longing and old resentment.
From that frequency, I was only going to call in more of the same.

His second teaching is equally important:
"You cannot experience what you are not the vibration of."

If I wanted to experience love that honors me, I had to become the vibration of sovereign joy, embodied worthiness, and deep self-love.

Not through effort. Through resonance.

Pet Medicine: Healing the Frozen Grief

Bitterness is not the enemy. It is frozen grief + unmet need.

Here’s a practice I use (and often teach my clients):

1️⃣ Lie with your pet. Imagine them witnessing the younger you—the girl who was mocked, who longed for love.
2️⃣ Let them energetically "lick" the shame and grief from your body and aura.
3️⃣ Let yourself cry, shake, rage—whatever arises. Let it move.

Then, rub your arms, heart, and belly. Speak this aloud:
"I no longer abandon myself for love. I choose myself first. My body is mine. I choose when, how, and with whom I share intimacy—only when it serves my joy and expansion."

Finally, you may want to pause sexual activity for a sacred reset. Give your body time to know that your YES matters deeply—and will be honored from now on. This is true whether you are in a partnership or not. Before you give a man access to your yoni just make sure that he is worthy of your sacredness.

Awakening the Inner Shiva: Stability Within

I know that my inner masculine was calling for attention so another part of healing this pattern is awakening the inner Shiva — the steady, conscious, witnessing masculine energy within us all.

Shiva energy is not about men—it is about presence, discipline, and sacred containment.

How to awaken it:

🌿 Meditation: Sit daily. Feel your spine as the axis of the world.
🌿 Breathwork: Inhale into your belly, exhale long and slow.
🌿 Mantra: “I am the unshakable witness. I choose. I protect my sacred energy.”
🌿 Embodiment: Walk with groundedness. Move intentionally. Speak from clarity.

When your inner Shiva holds your inner Shakti (your feminine flow), you no longer chase validation—you become the source of your own safety and devotion.

Final Ritual: Releasing Old Energies

1️⃣ Light a candle. Place one hand on your heart, one on your womb.
2️⃣ Speak aloud to the past:
"I release you. I reclaim my energy. I forgive myself for chasing love through self-abandonment. I welcome only those who honor me fully."
3️⃣ Let your pet sit with you. Their presence will anchor you in the truth:
You are already lovable. Already worthy. Already enough.

Repeat this affirmation in the mirror each morning:

“I am a sovereign, radiant being. I align with love that honors me. I walk in balance—my inner Shiva steady, my inner Shakti free. I do not chase; I attract through the joy of my being. My body, my energy, my choice.”

If you find yourself bitter, weary, or trapped in old stories of love—know this:

✨ It is not the end of your story.
✨ It is a portal to deeper self-love, sovereignty, and magnetic wholeness.
✨ You are allowed to feel it all—and then to choose anew.

Your pets already know this truth.

They love you because you are, not because you perform.

Let them teach you.
Let your Shiva awaken.
Let your heart heal.
And let the love you call in match the love you now give yourself.

xoxo,

Jennifer